Sunday, 30 November 2008


I had a little turtle, I called her Myrtle,
She lived in the bath and made me laugh.
But when she ate the soap, I just couldn't cope,
At the end of the day, I gave her away.

So I got a snake who would only eat cake,
Spread all over with honey. he cost lots of money.
I did love him so but he just had to go.
He went to a man who drove a white van.

Now I've got a teddy and he's always ready,
To give me some love and heavens above.
He's always so good and never needs food,
So I'll love him forever and part with him never.

Jill West.

Tuesday, 14 October 2008


We have so many dustbins now it's really hard to know,
What should go in which bin and what you must not throw.
At night they get together and speak of bin abuse,
Discuss what should be put in them and what is their proper use.
You see there are baby bins for all the foodie scraps,
Potato peelings, bacon rinds and bits of bread perhaps.

BIODEGRADABLE is the word that governs what goes in,
If plastic is put in them that will be a real sin.
Now all the bottles ,cans and papers have a separate fate,
So just read the council litarerature and don't get in a state.
We all know it's for the best, though it does seem rather cruel
And think ! a fine awaits you if you don't obey the rule.

Something makes me sceptical but perhaps the point is minor.
Could it end up across the sea, perhaps be shipped to CHINA.

Jill West

OPTIMISM. Mathew VII Verse 7.

But my computer said no.
I didn't and that was a blow.
It didn't go as I planned,
I caught hold of the knocker to bang it,
The knocker came off in my hand.

Jill West.

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Sensitive Sunburn.

My husbands sister lives in New Zealand. Telling her of our lovely walled garden at our
18th century cottage in Somerset I said we could sunbathe nude if we wanted to. She
replied that sounds like a poem. So!


Jill and Pete just loved the heat they found it so exciting,
The sun was out the air was warm, the grass looked so inviting.
Pete said let's strip our clothes off and let the sun get to our skin,
Our walls are nice and high here so no one can peep in.
They lay there on the grass waiting for the sun to come,
The tragic thing that happened was that poor Jill burnt her bum.

Jill West.

Friday, 11 April 2008


A Visit To The Dentist.

I went to the dentist, his voice was quite grave,
He looked in my mouth and said "Hmm what can I save.
That filling you've had about ten years or so,
Is now obsolete so it may have to go..
The little bridge there a small work of art,
Is causing you trouble, in fact falling apart."
I'd heard about inplants so enquired as to cost,
"Well if thats how you're thinking, then all is not lost.
To make you look super I'd say all around,
Something in the region of ten thousand pound."
I flinched as he said it and gave a sad wail,
He said "I can see that you havn't got wealth,
So what can I do on the national health".
As he gave me a filling I was in quite a state,
For his terrible verdict, "We must give you a plate."
When there's a bang on the door now ,
Above all the din, I can hear Pete shout out

Jill West.

P.S. The actual amount was £15000 but I couldn't make it scan.

Sunday, 6 April 2008

Dinosaur skeleton. Awider view.

Dinosaur skeleton
I made this skeleton on the dining room table with turkey and duck bones and large stones from the garden.Scroll down to see the narrow view.
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Thursday, 27 March 2008


Theses bones were dicovered recently. Sadly when the boulders were moved many pieces fell off so it is hard to say
which type they are. They do not appear to be related to the present incumbents. Please scroll down to earlier posts for other news.
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Tuesday, 4 March 2008


Nearly any paper that you read could be called THE DAILY MALICE.
A quick peek inside, you drink from a poison chalice.
Really happy truthful stories are few and far between,
If it has a happy ending it's unlikely to be seen.

A blazing half inch headline, when dicovered to be wrong,
Becomes a small retraction about three inches long.
If one paper prints a story for a lot of cash,
The others all decry it and call the story trash.

I'd like to give them all up and throw them in the bin
But I'd lose my daily crossword and that would be a sin.
So I skim across the malice about sportsmen who have strayed,
The stories from the palace, the big mistakes they've made.
I go quickly to the crossword, the bit I never miss,
There I wallow for a while and that's my DAILY BLISS.

Jill West.

Wednesday, 16 January 2008


With all the talk of rises, teachers have done quite well
I hope it makes them happy, one can never really tell.
Nurses should do better, their job is really tough,
They see a lot of misery and they just don't get enough

The police will strike, if they don't get quite a major rise,
They need much more cash to keep up, we hear the plaintif sighs.
I sympathise with all of them, really feel their sorrow
But pensioners have been left out, for us it's always

Jill West.

Saturday, 12 January 2008


About our CARBON FOOTPRINT it has got rather big,
I know mostly we ignore it, like we don't give a fig.
But if we keep on using all the goodness of the land,
We'll end up completely bankrupt, In fact not worth a grain of sand.

Every day the papers warn us that things are getting worse,
GLOBAL WARMING is the by word, the dreaded media curse.
They make us feel so guilty about everything we use,
I think what I'm going to do is just get bigger shoes.

Jill West.
Why have I got so cynical in my old age.

Friday, 11 January 2008


Why can't they let us be happy,the programmes are full of doom.
What we really want is more laughter instead of all the gloom.
But when it comes to worry and these can spoil your night,
The adverts that are shown can give an awfull fright.

My innocent washing machine that I thought would never fail,
I know now could stop at any time because of bad lime scale.
The adverts for germ killers that kill ninety nine per cent,
Really make me worry where all the others went.

When they,re trying to sell airfresheners then I have to think,
What are they implying, does my house stink.
I haven't got a dishwasher, perhaps it's just as well,
If you don't use certain products all your pipes will smell.

The ad for cleaning loos makes me feel very sad,
If mine ever looked like that I would think I'd gone quite mad.
If you take notice of these adverts you will get an awful scare,
Horror films won't seem so bad as all the terrors there.

Jill West.

P.S.My darling husband does my washing up he is very efficient.
I had my previous washing machine for twenty five years with no trouble.
I had to get a smaller one to make more space. As I have allergies to
many of the perfumes in cleaners etc. I have learned to use natural
products. Lemon juice, vinegar etc.