Saturday, 20 September 2014

Affection, Defection.


I'm going to divorce my husband,
They said " have you thought it through".
I said "I've thought of nothing else,
But there's nothing I can do".
We all share a bed together,
I know it sounds quite bad,
He bestows so much affection,
It makes me very sad.
I've thought so much about it.
Really tried to let it be,
But what it boils down to is,

                  Jill West.
(We've been married for 61 years,so we might last a bit longer.)

(I'ts 61 years now and I wouldn't ever let him go.)€,

Monday, 19 May 2014

Humpy Dumpty

Humpy Dumpty (from a bystander)

Humpy Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty gave a great call,
"Hey, all you kings horses,
And all you kings men,
I'm going to jump I'm counting to ten.

So there he was all ready to go,
The men had just eaten               
They were rather slow.
They just did not get there,
In time to catch him,
He came down with a crash,
And they couldn't reattach him.
       Jill West

Monday, 28 April 2014

Nursery Rhymes Reworked

                      Nursery Rhymes Reworked

Baa baa white sheep, have you any wool ?
I've gotten bags of it all of them full.
It's got rather damp and starting to fester,
The Dame doesn't want it, she prefers polyester.
(Sadly the Master and the Little Boy who lives
down the lane are allergic to man made fibre.)

Mary had a little lamb, it lived up in her flat,
It grew quite big and awkward,
But it made a lovely mat.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and wheY.
There came a big spider dressed as a vicar,
He said the World Wide Webs here
Let us PREY.

                  Jill West.

Soppy Poem

                     Soppy Poem

We built a house of concrete, it was very strong,
But it wasn't very pretty so we sold it for a song.

Then we built one of bricks,that was rather nice,
It sold for lots of money so we won't tell you the price.

Then we built a house of love, nobody can fell it,
It is ever lasting so we'll never, ever sell it.
                         Jill West.

P.S. I told you it was soppy.

Digitalis and Wild Oats.

                       Digitalis andWild Oats.

We're always glad to feed the birds it doesn't cost a lot.
But lately our poor garden has rather gone to pot.
Sparrows, tits and woodpeckers all gather round,
They eat the seeds and nuts and things but some fall on the ground.

So now our gardens rather wild, Prince Charles would be so glad,
There are wild oats growing there, ( not Pete's I would be mad).
One of the strange and lovely things that's grown and prospered there
Is a foxglove ( Digitalis) so grand and tall and fair,

In past years with a tripod we've grown good runner beans,
That's where a seed had settled, a perfect spot it seems.
We were surprised the way it grew,quite as tall as Pete,
Then it went on growing as it flowered, three more feet.

I took a photo there of Pete to show how tall it's grown,
I've saved a lovely lot of seeds so more plants can be sewn.
I believe they are biennial so it may take a while,
But in the future digitalis will bring a happy smile.

                        Jill West